Morning Routine!

It is such an odd and lonely feeling to feel alone while in the presence of people. Later, after that happened to me once, I went into my garden, eliminated distractions, and planned to do an intentional prayer walk with God.  I was so desperate to be in God's presence.  Struggling to focus during my prayer walk, I went to the middle of my garden, lay down, and pleaded that I would not feel so alone.  After stopping all the distractions, EVEN the distraction of WALKING, I lay completely flat on the ground, with everything quiet.  I felt the nudge to pay attention to how I was lying.  Lying flat on my back, looking up towards the sky with my arms straight out.  Then I felt the Holy Spirit remind me that Jesus died on the cross because God loves me and God promised that he would never leave me. I do not have to be alone.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6

As I was thanking God that I was not alone, the nudge to think of how I was lying came to my mind again.  So...I asked God, "What am I missing? Is there something I am supposed to understand? If so, please reveal it to me." Shortly after that, it dawned on me....I look like the cross right now, my head is the top part of the cross, my arms stretched out are the part of the cross that goes horizontal, and then from my arms down to my toes is the bottom, long part of the cross.  When I realized this, I was overwhelmed with gratitude that I do not have to look far for the reminder of how much God is with me, and I am never alone.  My flesh is a reminder. 

I lay there, overwhelmed with gratitude. I still felt there was more I was supposed to understand, but I couldn't figure it out, so I decided to just soak in the pure awe of God, which was so evident.  

A couple of days later, I was with some gals learning more about who God is and who God has called us to be.  I was telling them my experience, and as I was explaining it, the next piece that I thought was missing.... filled in. 

The verse about taking up your cross and following Jesus came to mind.  There is one in Matthew 16 and one in Luke 9.

24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, "if any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me. 25 If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. Matthew 16: 24-25 NLT

23 Then he said to them all: "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. 24 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. Luke 9:23-24

When reading this previously, I asked myself what is "my cross" that I need to pick up? Which I think is a good question to ask and is very important.  But this time, I realized it's not JUST a matter of I need to take up "my cross" of not having enough patience or making sure I pray more.  It is more than JUST that....I need to take up my cross....my physical body that looks like a cross and follow him in total submission in EVERYTHING I do.  Not just picking certain things to surrender, my whole flesh is to be on the cross.  Just like it says in Galatians 2:20.

20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. 

Galatians 2:20

I love how in Luke 9 it says we need to take up our cross DAILY, and in Lamentations 3 we are told his mercies begin fresh EACH MORNING.  

22 The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. 23 Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. 

Lamentations 3:22-23

Pondering that, I have started to ask myself....What am I doing right away in the mornings? 

~Do I lie there and look at my phone as soon as I wake up, maybe start scrolling social media? 

~Do I check my e-mails first thing so I can start planning my workday?

~Do I pick up my cross (my flesh) and start my day off honoring God....FIRST?

~Am I denying my flesh and following Jesus with every step that I take? 

After that time in my garden when I had to stop the distraction of EVEN WALKING. Yes, I was going to God, but when I was walking, they were MY steps of trying to walk away from the loneliness. It wasn't until I stopped and listened to the prompting to lie down in the middle of my garden that the Holy Spirit led me to understanding I needed to completely surrender it and choose Him FIRST....that is when I was able to then pick up my cross (my flesh) to follow Him the rest of my day.

It is such a blessing that we get to begin afresh each morning. Let's be diligent to remember, when lying down, we are completely surrendered, getting up out of bed in the morning, we take up our cross (flesh), then we need to follow Jesus with every step throughout our day!